A Day in the Life

Today was a cool day.

I too have been in a drier than I would like season. This new year has been a little more hopeful and exciting for me in terms of faith. It's hard to live in Madison where it seems like no one shares my perspective on life and God and a whole lot of other things, although I have become more liberal myself in a lot of ways from living here. There are definitely people at our church who share my worldview, but no super bffs so far. Even in terms of things with our church, a lot of things have been at a stand still while we've been transitioning into new leadership, and I think the ball is finally going to get rolling. So that makes me more hopeful.

Caleb's grandparents got us the Jesus Calling book for Christmas, and I was pretty skeptical about it at first, but then I started to read it, and, although I don't agree with every single sentence, it has been really helpful for getting me to think about God more throughout the day and inviting God more into my daily life. Not at work yet because work is crazy,  but in the things that you have to do that are hard.

For example, today I had to have a conversation with a good friend about some lifestyle choices and I was dreading it. My tendency is to want to control other people and make them do what I think is best for them. In order to compensate for that tendency, I can be way too accommodating. I asked Caleb for his advice on how to begin that kind of conversation and he said that I should make sure to say that I care about my friend, and also that I don't support these choices. I thought about what he said and prayed for help and spent some time preparing, and in the end, the conversation went a lot better than I thought it would and I learned a lot about my friend and saw more into her heart than I expected to. It was hard and sad, but it was deep and real, too.

Next thing, coffee date with another friend-- someone that I don't know very well at all. Learned a lot about her and was able to be a friend to her. She's going through things that I didn't know she was dealing with, so now I can follow up with her on those. Isn't it so funny how people are going through so much crap that you have no idea about? I just assume that what I see on the surface is the true reality. A first impression or even seeing someone a couple of times does not mean that you know them or what they are going through. Different people open up at different stages. I think I assume that everyone is fine because I know that usually if I'm not fine, I immediately tell people haha.

Then, went to my class. People in my class make jokes about Jesus and it really bugs me. The first time it happened, I chuckled along with the cohort. And then when I got in my car it hit me, "Oh my gosh, that wasn't cool. I should have said something. Why didn't I say something?" And then in another class, that first time got referenced, and then it got referenced and added on to in another class. Then last week, there was another minor incident. All this time, I have been wondering about what to do. Do I post something in our group saying what my beliefs are and could they please stop with the comments? Do I wait for the right moment to bring it up in class? I wanted to try to bring it up in class but in a non awkward way. Today at the coffee date with the second friend, we were talking about this issue because she had a similar experience at her job. I was asking her questions about it and I asked her if they knew what she believed. Then I thought that I should take my own advice and just tell them what I believe because it's better than being trampled on week after week. Why am I so afraid? I should just stand up for myself. So, last week we started a new class with a professor that we all really like, and this professor is more sympathetic to Christianity and faith in general than some of the other professors we've had. Tonight in class an opportunity came up for me to basically out myself as a Christian and it was terrifying, but now it's out there. And the best part is that I was talking to the prof after about the group, and he said that he had talked to individuals about the comments made last week, and because he was the one who addressed it, I don't think they will be made again, at least while he's our teacher and hopefully not ever again. But I was glad that I still said something, not about the comments, but in general about being a Christian before I knew that he had addressed the comments with the people who had been making them. Hopefully that makes sense.

So, a big day for me and God. And I like when these days come because they make me more hopeful that God is living and active in my life and in the world around me. And they give me hope for greater things, or even more small things to come. And it helps my faith to persist. Madison is a hard place to live for your faith. It should be a great place to live because there's so much opposition, but sometimes the fear gets you down. I just need to remember who I am and not be afraid of man. What's the point? Once I speak, either they will respect me for being different, or they will not. And if they don't like me because I'm a Christian, the better for me later on. Being honest about who you are is better. It's better to be open about it up front, or else I think you just get stuck being nice and hoping that it will come up. Like at my job. I just need to be more open about it and let it be a part of me like how everything else is. That I like food and snow and kids.

That's all for now. Kelly, did I really have a million saga dates???? Wow. And I'm pretty sure I invited you to be friends with all my friends like John and Caleb. Weird that I married Caleb-- one of my first Wheaton friends. Nobody was as good as the people I met right at the beginning. Caleb, Kel and D.
Keeping the faith,
Sarah

ps- the only thing that would have made today better was the brooch! it was a perfect day for it. But I guess that part of the point is that we have to write about suckish and normal days too... xoxo